Absolute Blue Invitation 12/31/20 - 1/02/21

Absolute Blue Auldlangsynizes

As we draw nearer to the close of another year, we also see the limitation period run out for much of our pending litigation. So it appears our argument for separating the entertainment timeline between PriMadonna and Post Malone will never be heard. As will our argument for punitive damages for the deliberate plagiarism of a catch phrase from the producers of Breaking Bad. So they will never claim that they never heard of Better Tweet Pete during the Democratic National Convention or Better Write Dwight during the Eisenhower administration or Better Yell for Michelle during the Obama years or Better Phone Tone during Blair’s Labour Party disputes or Better Semaphore Salvador during Dali’s Surrealist revivalist movement.

We would also like to thank you for all your support, be it in person, in word, in thought or purely hypothetical for getting us through the carnage that was this year. But no matter if you’re out and about this weekend or waiting until the time is right, we will be here for you and fully expect to be adding more dates to what will be a most excellent 2021 for us all.

An historic weekend awaits us with three opportunities to engage with The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love beginning New Year’s Eve at Kelly’s Burgers & Beer in Melbourne, 8:30 to 12:30, then Friday, 6 to 10 at Squid Lips in Melbourne and Saturday, 6 to 10 at Mainstreet in Downtown Melbourne...

Absolute Blue Invitation 12/25/20 - 12/26/20

Absolute Blue Holidicizes

Here at Absolute Blue we take our holidays seriously, as evidenced by the recent Arbor Day fiasco and since the charges are still pending and to prevent any further chaos, Bill suggested we not leave it up to Santa, as considering how this year went, he is afraid what would be left under the tree. Initially we just considered this case of claustrophobia but he may very well be right. After all, it seems we have been in a state of flux so much of the year that at this point it seems that it’s one big cluster flux. So we wrote down all our names and gift suggestions and drew from a hat, through a highly questionable process as I wound up with all names including my own. Turns out the hat was made in Venezuela under the Chavez label, which explains things. So now looks like I have to acquire the following before the 25th:

-Kevin is asking for some plastic wrap for his food products to truly achieve Sarandipity.
-Tom, after recently converting to Judaism, requests anything from the Just For Menorahs product line.
-Newly retired, Don has traveled to Antarctica and now needs an Arctic trip to be considered bipolar.
-Bill wants NFL tickets so I was able to get Jets season passes under the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Football program.
-Skip requested some low end liquor and I was fortunately able to secure a case of Whiskey In Name Only online so he can enjoy as a true WINO.

Join us for a post holiday celebration at our newest venue, Kelly’s Burgers & Beers, Saturday from 7 to 10. It’s at 650 N Wickham in Melbourne, just south of Sarno in that shopping center...

Absolute Blue Invitation 12/18/20 - 12/20/20

Absolute Blue Attributizes

For far too long there has been a refusal to acknowledge a serious manifestation of our current crisis, where out of work musicians are being forced to seek other means of employment, often with disastrous results. This so called bandemic needs to be recognized preferably at a state and federal level with significant and non refundable bailout money or even job training for potential lobbyists or at least a copy of Money Laundering for Dummies. And we’re not talking about the time Kevin and Don worked for an agency of the New York governor’s office and wound up charged with Christymeanors or when Tom was found with a large piano and was accused of Grand Larceny or when Skip lit his instrument on fire and was the first to be indicted for Guitarson. No, this time it’s serious and may mean the beginning of the end for Absolute Blue, Where Music Goes To Die. Current complaints include:

-Tom picked up some work at a funeral home where cadavers turned up missing which they are saying is a clear case of Postmortembezzlement.

-Don sketched a silhouette of a female coworker and was subsequently charged with Rachel profiling.

-Kevin started writing soft core under the pen name Slick Dickens but copied extensively from existing works and now faces charges of Foreplaygerism.

-Bill expanded his landscaping business to include ornamental pieces, many of which were delivered broken which is being treated as a case of Gnomestic Violence. 

-Skip was asked to step down from his position as roadie for Chicago amid allegations of 25 or 6 to Forgery.

Join us for a pre Christmas get together at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10 Friday…