Absolute Blue Invitation 2/18/21 - 2/20/21

Absolute Blue Ememazes

Before they became The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love, the guys tried their hand at a number of different professions. But what truly became a passion was The Sweet Science. Yes, in a former life Absolute Blue was well known in the fight game. Once known as the Phenomenon of the Octagon, you may have heard of their MayTag Team matches against appliance repairmen. They even tried cage fighting but the cage kept winning. They eventually lost their mojo at the dojo and the management grew tired of their Kung Foolery. But this does not take away from the many related accomplishments of Absolute Blue, where we still rock and roll all night but only party every other day:

-Bill started studying Brazilian Jiu Jitsu but it was just too many.

-Tom signed with a prestigious fight organization but was relegated to their farm team where he learned Mooey Thai and started the first ever Rustlemania.

-Don lost two matches to his wife before he realized it wasn’t Mixed Marital Arts.

-Skip showed promise at Judo but thought it was racist.

-Kevin once tried to tap out but it was really more of a soft-shoe.

Join us for a highly unusual Thursday night at The Avenue in Viera from 5 to 8…

Then Friday we’re at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…

And Saturday, make plans for Kelly’s Burgers & Beer in Melbourne from 7 to 10…

Absolute Blue Invitation 2/12/21 - 2/14/21

Absolute Blue Commercializes

It has long been rumored through the years that The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love has ‘sold out’. We wish to refute these largely unfounded allegations once and for all. Truth is, selling out would actually involve some type of fiscal compensation, where the closest we’ve come in the past was some lukewarm Old Milwaukee Lights and several off-brand hotdogs.  What has been lacking is a clear, cohesive strategy that aligns with high profile corporate objectives. Like Bruce in a Jeep. Or Bill in a DeVille. We thought about Stray Cat Strut And Wheel Alignment At Taylor Automotive or Make Me Smile At Stadium Dentistry but believed we could do better. Then it was on to Does Anybody Really Know What Timex It Is and 25 or 6 to Ford, which are both clearly lacking in theme and construct. We pitched Gimme Three Steps to Space Coast Orthopedic and were escorted from the building. But we firmly believe that our latest offerings are sure to hit paydirt. Well, some kind of dirt anyway:

-A special Snack Time segment with Some Kinda Wonderful Pistachios.

-Unchain My Heartburn presented by Prilosec.

-Stihl Got The Blues For You, with optional chain saw solo that really shreds.

-Coggins Plumbing presents What I Like About Urinals.

-And the breakup song, You’re Gonna Miss My Oven (Cause it’s Self Cleaning) sponsored by Appliance Direct.

Join us for our first triple header in many, many months, beginning Friday at Malabar Mo’s from 7 to 11…

Then it’s a Saturday evening at Mainstreet in downtown Melbourne from 6 to 10…

And we finish it back where we started with a Valentine’s Day at Malabar Mo’s from 4 to 8…

Absolute Blue Invitation 1/22/21 - 1/23/21

Absolute Blue Instrumentizes

We are all familiar with The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love and their many local performances through the years, but did you know they are all very accompliced musicians? It may be strange to think of them on these terms but in many cases they started out on different instruments and in other cases, where local laws allow, they still maintain these skills across a wide range of the musical spectrum. For example, after having an epiphany on tympani, Kevin auditioned so many times for local bands he became known as the Repercussionist (Back in the 90’s he was known as Rico Clave). And at one point, Bill was very proficient on the Freedom Horn. Tom created the Absolute Bluekelele and Don was so good at woodwinds he was called Oboe Wan Kenobi. I could say that Skip played the harp, but that would make a lyre out of me. But that’s just the start:

-The first time Bill played his piccolo in public, the audience threw tomatoes, proving when the fluting starts the fruiting starts.

-Tom started playing multiple double reed instruments but was told to stop Bassoon as possible.

-Don tried percussion and strings until he was arrested carrying a concealed 9mm glockenspiel under suspicion of committing multiple acts of violins.

-Kevin was in a string quartet until being released for copyright infringement related to his Cello Kitty product line. He claims that he left of his own accordion.

-Skip has played so many bluegrass instruments that he has become known as The Mandolinean.

Join us for a double header this weekend as we return to Malabar Mo’s Friday 7 to 11…

Then it’s back to Kelly’s Burgers & Beers in Melbourne from 7 to 10…