Absolute Blue Invitation 6/03/22 - 6/04/22

Absolute Blue Monikizes

It was at a live show featuring her as well as her own impersonator, a show we like to call Cher And Cher Alike, that we first asked, if Cher had a nickname, where would it go? We have always admired great nicknames in history such as Genghis ‘Chaka’ Khan, Helen ‘Killer’ Keller, Robert E. ‘Apparent’ Lee and Atilla ‘The’ Hun. So we decided what was missing from our music was really badass nicknames. We managed to hire a ‘Moniker Consultant’ and after analyzing personality traits, criminal records and credit scores, the following were suggested: Skip ‘Squirrel’ Gosnell, Don ‘Babs’ Miller, Kevin ‘Scooter’ Trowbridge, Bill ‘Sugar’ Yearty and Tom ‘Dumbass’ Willett. Now some of these I don’t agree with but turns out it doesn’t matter as just like everything else the cost of nicknames has skyrocketed, and we were barely able to afford one. So in the future please refer to us as:

-Skip ‘Mad Dog’ Gosnell

-Don ‘Mad Dog’ Miller

-Kevin ‘Mad Dog’ Trowbridge

-Bill ‘Mad Dog’ Yearty

-Tom ‘Mad Dog’ Willett

Join us Friday evening from 6 to 8 at the City of West Melbourne Community Park Amphitheater, 3000 Minton Road, just North of 95…

Then Saturday it’s back to Mainstreet in Downtown Melbourne from 6 to 10…

Absolute Blue Invitation 5/27/22 - 5/29/22

Absolute Blue Toolicizes

We are happy to announce that our periodic communications are officially back after a series of misunderstandings that required legal intervention. Turns out Don soiled the couch again after receiving what he thought was a ‘restaining’ order. But the lawyers have been paid and all court mandated obligations fulfilled. When we last spoke we were talking about Kevin, our resident handyman. Do you lack the thrill of the drill? Do you loathe the lathe? Afraid to go Awl in? Whether you have doubts about your grout or are just skeptical of your receptacles, don’t be afraid of knocking on Kevin’s door. His tool collection is so extensive that he is enrolled in both Home Depot and Lowes’ Frequent Plier program. He participated in so many volunteer projects he is officially called The Mensch with a Wrench. All this and so much more. Can you believe he also:

-Illustrated the concept of ‘An Eye For An Eye’ with his reciprocating saw.

-Has been known to show his team spirit by shouting ‘Roll Tide!’ when using his Alabama hamma.

-Has taught us responsibility with his ‘He who kicks it fix it’ program.

-Likes to listen to Nirvana during his plumbing duties, earning him the nickname ‘Grunger with a Plunger’.

-Organized a volunteer group of business leaders to refurbish downtown shops called the Caulking Heads.

-Created the ‘Vice Grips’ project, which may or may not be a metaphor.

Join us for a Friday night at the Tiki Bar in Sebastian, on Indian River Blvd just south of Main Street…

Saturday we attend to a private event, but Sunday we return to Malabar Mo’s from 4 to 8…

Absolute Blue Invitation 2/11/22- 2/13/22

Absolute Blue Olympicizes

It’s that time again when we put aside our geopolitical and cultural differences and come together for a brief time to share a common sporting experience. But since season three of Ted Lasso has been delayed again, all we are left with are the Winter Games. Sorry, but these pale in comparison to the width and breadth of the Summer Olympics. In fact, we propose these be called the D’ohlympics. I mean with all that cold and snow and all, how is a Floridian supposed to relate? At least they have the Men’s Downhill, something we know plenty about. But the rest of these events are in dire need of an update. And yes, we have a few ideas.

-Eliminating Cross Country. We feel it’s high time we left religion out of the proceedings.

-Stop referring to the athlete that makes his course attempt twice a two time Luger.

-When offered the option of watching the Super G, we will take the soup.

-Create an event based on real life experiences that are challenging enough, like going to the store and call it the Buyathlon.

-Combine eating and driving, like we all do, in the Shishkabobsled.

-For those of us with broad skepticism, subjectivism or relativism, a general suspicion of reason, or an acute sensitivity to the role of ideology in asserting and maintaining political and economic power, a Post Modern Pentathlon.

Joins us for a Friday at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…

Then Saturday at Island Time in Cocoa Beach, on 520 just west of A1A, from 5 to 9…

And our first performance ever at Lazy Turtle is a pre Super Bowl party from 2 to 6. The Turtle is on US1 just north of Port Malabar road in Palm Bay…