Absolute Blue Invitation 5/13/16 - 5/15/16

Absolute Blue Influences

When evaluating the impact that an individual or group has on a culture over a period of time, one needs only to look at the way said culture has changed and the specific contributions that have been made. In our case, one can focus on the negative, and note the times that our attempts to affect the course of verbal communication have failed miserably. Like when we attempted to trend Don of the Dead. Or when we suggested hashtag Kevin Can Wait. Or coming up with Good Bill Hunting. Or The Skipth Sense. And forget about Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Tom. We would rather concentrate on the few times that we were able to create catchphrases that actually caught on. Such as:

-When the band was running out of specialty cheese: We're going to need a bigger goat.

-When Bill was asked to identify a kind of rock by an IBM computer: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.

-When Skip was phasing out a version of Windows: Hasta la Vista, baby.

-When professing Don’s love of pudding pops: You had me at Jello.

-When Tom’s article on Absolute Blue history was in a repossessed car: The greatest story ever towed.

-When Kevin was offered a job at waste management: They made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

-When the band was explaining the lack of animals at the zoo: Badgers? We don’t need no stinking badgers.

Another big weekend on tap for The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love, starting Friday at Coconuts in Cocoa Beach from 7 to 11…

Then it’s Siggy’s in Palm Bay from 9:30 to 1:30 Saturday…

And we end with a perfect Sunday afternoon at SBI from 1 to 5…

Absolute Blue Invitation 4/29/16 - 4/30/16

Absolute Blue Identifies

We are fortunate to live within a culture that actively acknowledges and embraces those individuals that personally relate to unconventional behavior, outside of societal norms. Be it transgendered, transspecial, translucent or transcendent, society is willing to accept you for the uniqueness of your modified self. And because of all this confusion over which bathroom to use, we, as a leader in outside the litterbox thinking, have decided that during an Absolute Blue performance we will either go outside or hold it, depends. But we would like to take this time to get to know you better, because the more we know about you the more we can create a more vital and relevant product to present to you including tailoring the music and fart jokes to your specific needs. After all, we don’t know enough about Skip and altogether too much about Tom. And the more we know about each other the more ways we can truly connect and ridicule each other. So please take a moment to answer the following:

Which do you identify with Botanically?

___Dutch Elm ___Live Oak ___ Smart Ash ___Crap Myrtle ___Loose Spruce                  

Which do you identify with Tyrannically?

___ Ghengis Kahn ___Ivan the Terrible ___Stalin ___Pol Pot ___Rex

Which do you identify with Judicially?

___Felony ___Misdemeanor ___Statute ___Tort ___Pop Tort

Which do you identify with Mechanically

___Crowbar ___Socket Wrench ___Pneumatic Drill ___Chisel ___Plunger

Which do you identify with Chromatically?

___A ___C# ___Db ___E ___Gmdim7/5

Which do you identify with Dramatically?

___Patrick Swayze ___Sam Elliot ___Robert Duval ___Steve McQueen ___Cher

Which do you identify with Mathematically

___Pi ___Hypotenuse ___Cosine ___Equilateral ___Equiliberal

Which do you identify with Grammatically?

___I ___Me___He ___She___It

And remember we at Absolute Blue take confidentially very seriously and would never share your answers with anyone. Unless it’s really funny.

Join us for the only Absolute Blue performance this weekend, Friday at Tiki Bar in Sebastian from 7 to 11…

Absolute Blue Invitation 4/15/16 - 4/17/16

Absolute Blue Apocalypses

It has been foretold by many different sources that one man would come to power and bring about the end of times. Or at least the end of daylight savings time. Revelations in the Bible, the Shemot of the Torah and the April issue of Good Housekeeping all say the same thing. And it pertains not only to our current political climate but also worldwide events that indicate the imminent chaos and tumult. Even in Florida a bicyclist crossing the state was arrested in the nation’s first case of pedalphilia. More and more people are convinced they can fly, which could easily become Peter Pandemic. If we keep heading in this direction we’ll go from “Can’t wait to vote in this year’s election” to “Can President Trump really do that?” to “Can’t wait until this year’s Purge”. But it’s not only humans we have to worry about. Turns out even nature is getting into the act:

-In China the bears have revolted, creating a nationwide state of Pandamonium.

-The bovine flu, once only found in cows, has now been found in humans, which officials say could be Cattleclysmic.

-American songbirds are establishing their own social structure that naturalists are describing as an Orioligarchy.

-Even the smallest of creatures are planning Antarchy.

-The organization of smaller mouse species only adds to the Voleatility.

-Farm animals seem to also be affected as sheep have turned against their keepers in what can only be described as Mutinous Mutton.

-Throughout the coast of North America the shore birds are organizing in what could be called a Pelicanspiracy.

-In Africa the animals are organizing differently based on an accumulation of resources beginning with the Giraffluent.

-It has even spread to Australia where officials warn it could become Kangaruinous.

Join us this Friday at Steagles in Melbourne, on Cypress just northwest of US1 & Eau Gallie, from 8 to 12…

And Sunday it’s back to SBI where, weather permitting, we will be playing Oceanside from 1 to 5…